I’m having a funny old week which is leading me to believe I’m having a bit of a midlife crisis! Yesterday I ended up riding my granddaughters scooter home from school while trying to achieve a bit more speed in getting my grandson home from nursery. Unfortunately I misjudged a kerb and went head over heels into the road. It lead to a rather painful and swollen left ankle and knee which are a little bit stiff today but I’m fine. My pride was dented more than my body!
But this is very typical of me because I don’t want to act my age!! Yes I’m 52 but I still feel like I’m in my twenties! Is this normal?? My body still feels like it can do everything it did as a youngster but maybe it’s time to slow down a bit?
I’m obviously looking my age now too! I was out at the weekend and someone mentioned that I don’t look like my profile pic in real life!! So I decided to change one of my pictures to something a little more “realistic” but then worried all night about why I felt the need to do that! I LOVE the pic that I have on my social media sites but I do know it’s very flattering…..THAT IS WHY I CHOSE IT!!! I have had a lifetime of self loathing about the way I look so to have a photo where I look pretty decent is a huge thing for me, especially as it’s taken me over 50 years to get one!! As most of you are now aware my hair is a curly mop that has a life of its own so I thank God everyday for the invention of GHDs!! The straight hair in this pic took me nearly an hour to achieve!
Talking about my hair I am going to come clean about its colour too. I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE!!! I’m not even a brunette anymore as I have I have inherited my family’s “early grey” gene. I had my first grey hair at the age of 19 and am now pretty much all over grey under my blonde. Is it time to go “au naturale” and grow old gracefully? I always said I wouldn’t go grey whilst being mistaken for my grandchildrens mother, which still happens. I am in awe of those self confident women who have embraced their natural greyness and look bloody amazing but I’m struggling to make that leap myself. Why am I putting myself under so much pressure?! I’m still a grandmother to four gorgeous little ones no matter what colour my hair is!
Just why is there so much pressure from society for women to look younger all the time? I decided last week I needed to start a proper skincare routine due to my ever advancing wrinkles. I was advised by the sales lady to go for one for a more mature skin. She was very shocked by my lack of previous use of lotions and potions and when I told her I NEVER take my makeup off before bed she nearly had a coronary!! I read a quote in a book recently that was something along the lines of “men marry the type of women who take their makeup off before bed and have affairs with the ones who don’t” but I must have missed that memo! And to the sales lady who sold me that expensive anti-aging cream…..yes I DO look younger now mainly due to the fact it’s given me more spots than a hormonal teenage girl with a serious chocolate addiction!!!
So when you meet me in real life you don’t get the groomed and filtered me, you just get me. Curly haired with the occasional grey roots, wrinkles but still feeling like a youngster underneath. But I’m very comfortable with that person. It’s taken me a long time to get here so I’m keeping my very flattering profile pic and I’m going to keep riding kids scooters and singing along loudly to Clean Bandit in the car. I’m going to leave mascara streaks on my pillow, drink gin, dye my hair blonde and get my backside stuck on the kids slide in the garden (yes this has actually happened).
So no, I’m not having a mid life crisis, I have just decided to grow old disgracefully!!!